My masters have hauled me down to this strange new land they keep referring to as The South. It seems like I’ve been hear for ages, which is apparently just long enough for them to inflict me with a bladder infection. I felt so uncomfortable I showed them who’s boss by peeing in things to anger them, and figured they’d break them any moment. Since they hadn’t made me better, I figured I had to be more blunt with these simpletons and started going to the litter box every fifteen minutes and I even stooped so low as to drag my ass on the carpet like a filthy dog.
They give me a little taste, and then take it away. I can’t take this kind of abuse. I just need my tasty kibbles. Aaah! Can’t they hear me begging for one more hit? Tried to work out some of my energy leaping at the fun string that makes the light come on. Can you believe they left the lid to the washer open? They’re out to get me. I just can’t stand the pressure.
Boss kitty caught me sleeping again. Don’t know why he makes such a big deal about it. Doesn’t everyone sleep like their dead?
Day 752 of my captivity. Found what I hope is one of my captor’s favorite possessions. It appears to be some sort of container for transporting instruments of my exploitation and I believe it to be associated with their obnoxious light flashing device. I have thoroughly inspected it’s contents to ascertain if it might hold anything I could use in my escape. Having found nothing, I destroyed it’s lining with my claws and ate the outer edges to prevent its further use.
Day 746 of my captivity. My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded.