A Jane Story: Jane vs. UPS

August 7, 2003
Tales of the weird

Well, since I’ve introduced Amanda’s co-worker Jane, I suppose I should actually start posting some of the more absurd stories about her. The first one that comes to mind I will entitle “Jane vs. UPS.”

One day, Jane got it into her head to send a marinated steak to a priest friend of hers in New Jersey. So she packaged up this piece of raw, marinated steak in a bowl surrounded by ice, and put this bowl in a box and taped it shut. Note, she did not put any sort of lid on the bowl, she just packed it uncovered in the box. After arriving at work, she dropped by the shipping office in the building with the intent to send this steak via UPS to New Jersey. Discovering that next day air is expensive, she elected to send this piece of raw meat via the much cheaper UPS 4-day Ground service. Of course, she didn’t bother to tell the person at the shipping office that she was sending raw meat…

Later that day, she received a call at her desk from the shipping office. Turns out all the ice had melted while it was sitting there waiting to be picked up by UPS, and had started leaking all over the other packages. Jane’s response: “You turned my package up-side down?!?!” She is such a special human being. Why on Earth would she assume they wouldn’t turn her package over seeing as she had not made any particular indications that it was to be kept right-side up? She was forced to come down and claim her package which she then proceeded to keep at her desk all day, unrefrigerated. I can only assume she then took it home and ate it.